The Tale of Some Shonky Shoes

Names have been disguised to protect identities. 

Shonky: poor, dubious quality, unreliable…(Wiktionary)

If ABW has another pre-loved (or hated) gear sale like the one held at the General Meeting in February last year, it could pay you to be there as it just might just be another buyers’ market. But that said, such markets are often a case of ‘buyer beware’and so it was and I wasn’t, so I’ve learned a lesson and now perhaps, it’s time to pass it on. As the title says, it’s about a pair of shoes and on that evening, I went over at one point to look at just such a thing. I had no intention of buying but there’s no harm in just looking. 

My last set of walking shoes were worn out so I had decided to revert to using my old boots again, a beautiful pair of faithful and serviceable Scarpas left idle for some time now. I wasn’t much focused on that though when I picked those shoes up and after a cursory glance – the experienced eye at work here – decided to get them if they fitted me.

I asked TJ, for he did at that stage still own them, ‘why the sale?’. ‘Oh, I found them to be a bit tight’ and I could indeed see that they had lost a bit of their initial bloom, too much possibly to be going back asking for a swap or refund. They fitted me well and, as the sole bidder (geddit?), the hammer fell in my favour for $10. I handed over $20 (and yes, I know, my poor Scarpas) and was told that I’d get the change ‘someday’. ‘No hurry!’ I went home feeling most pleased with my purchase and a month later, sailed to Devonport and set off with them to a walk to Hobart by the most direct route I could devise over the Tiers. 

It is possibly not out of order at this stage, to say that I had originally put my name down to join TJ’s wild Tassie excursion, it being held at the same time as my walk, and feel obliged to report the possibly instructional email exchange that followed. ‘Michael, could you take your name off the list please’. It wasn’t a rhetorical question, and I did as was requested, but a few days later was curious to learn why. ‘What proportion of a presumed fear of age-related infirmity and managerial problems prompted your request?’ ‘50:50’ came back the brutally short reply that made me burst out laughing. I could hardly blame TJ for his position on this when I reflected on the managerial problems that I had caused him on last year’s NZ trip and that were almost certainly, still raw in his mind. 

It was on day 4 of the crossing that I noticed the toes of the soles starting to seriously part company with the uppers. At best, it would be five days before I got to a shop likely to sell gaffer tape to effect a proper repair and as I lay in the tent that night, I started thinking. Thinking about the night that I got back home after the club auction, as it was only then that I gave the shoes a really close inspection and what I saw alarmed me. The wear on the soles informed me that those shoes had done at least 1,000 km of walking and, according to my judgement, much of that in pretty rugged terrain. Even then, small sections of the sole were starting to show the first signs of a faltering relationship with the upper. Fortunately, I fell asleep that night before I could develop the theme any further because my faith in humankind was also beginning to falter.

I long ago adopted the practice of taking some gaffer tape with me on trips, just in case, sticking some around the billy and hence it being ready to affect emergency repairs on whatever. On the following morning, and as judiciously as possible, I used almost half of it on the shoes, the situation being helped by everything being dry because no rain had fallen during the walk (and for the month I was there in fact) apart from a few drops on the second night. The shoes taped up, I set off once more.

Walking all day and lying down alone at campsites leaves you with plenty of time to think and think I did, and mainly about those shoes and it just gets worse. It seemed like a puzzle even, but a thousand kms or so seems like a lot of walking for someone to do before deciding that their shoes are a bit tight. I was pondering this one night when an apocalyptic thought struck me. Could those shoes in fact, be third hand? Have I been had? Is it morally reprehensible even, for the seller to stay silent when passing on third-hand shoes while potential bidders are reasonably assuming that they have had just the one prior owner? My thoughts on this became more conflicting and confusing as I lay there and so it was a relief to next thing know that it was morning. 

Gaffer tape wears out quickly on stony tracks and roads and so it was a further relief to find that the small but compact general store at Oatlands sold the stuff. The taped shoes were a sight to behold but they worked well and three days later I crested a hill and looked across to see that delightful bridge over the Derwent and with the city and Mt Wellington beyond – a real trip highlight – and just the sight and future prospects put a spring in my step as I walked to the city centre. Mid afternoon, my brother and his partner Angie greeted me at their front door, the sight of my footwear eliciting a scream of laughter. The following morning, Angie took me into town and gifted me a pair of Merryl shoes at, I’m happy to say, a very good price. They served me well for a week more of walking and for some reason I don’t understand, brought both pairs of shoes back home with me. (They are now stored in a box and kept in a different room to my Scarpas. At least I have a conscience and some scruples.)

It’s almost a year later now and yet I still sometimes wonder about those $10 (correction $20) shoes, or not so much the shoes, but more the legal meaning of terms such as ‘someday’ and ‘no hurry’. No, I’m very happy to take the initiative here and graciously accept that those shoes did in fact cost me $20. And just think of this: $20 for 320km equates to 16km/$1 (walking isn’t as cheap as you may think) which equates to 2880km for a new pair of shoes costing $180. I don’t know of any brands and models of walking shoes that get close to giving that level of service and if you do, I’d love to hear from you.The one exception of course is my Scarpas, resoled and with one toe replaced, and about to go back into service (and I must tell you about them one day).  

Of course, I’ve since met TJ and he told me that he did in fact buy those shoes second-hand. And it just gets worse. He bought them at the previous ABW second-hand gear auction!

Editors comments: well, that had to be the most poor attempt at disguising a name I’ve ever seen! Good on TJ for what is clearly a well-rounded sense of humour